Man Vs. Self

One day, God.

One day where it doesn't have to feel like my entire life is being ripped out from under my feet...

A lot has happened.

My Mom was admitted into Brigham and Women's Hospital on Monday morning with a severe case of pneumonia. When I talked to her on the phone later that night, she could barely make out the words, "I love you." It was reminiscent of when Harriet was dying, and she could barely say anything to my siblings and I while we were trying to get help. That scared me.

Yesterday, my Dad and I went to visit my Mom. I can't believe I almost didn't go. I almost didn't go. If I hadn't gone, I would have been disgusted with myself. Just the fact that I gave it consideration, still disgusts me.

But I went. And I got to see her. She looked terrible, weak; things I've never known my Mom to be. I tried to talk, but most words came out in tears. I was so scared for her. I don't want her to die. We talked like this could be the last time we see each other. The scary thing is, it very well could be.

I apologized for the years of fighting I caused. My mom could only say, "Have you ever been a teenager, Nick?"
"Every once in awhile, yeah."
"It comes with the job. Don't worry about it."

At one point, my brother Eric called while we were still there. I held the phone to my Mom's ear, because her hand was bloated from an IV explosion. She was on the verge of tears, because she would probably never see her granddaughter again. And she told Eric she was proud of him and how he's grown. And even I was crying, because every word was just directed towards her death.

I wish I hadn't been so selfish these last few months. I wish I hadn't "run away" to Middle Street. I wish I could have done things for my Mom and helped her and made her last few months enjoyable. When she said she's lived a good life, I bawled, because I don't think the end was very good.

I kept hugging her and kissing her forehead. I didn't want to leave the room, but I had to go home and start my responsibilities on getting things organized, and bills paid. Nick doing bills. Crazy.

I wish I could go back. Stop Harriet from dying. Warn my Mom about the cancer. Get everything out of the way.

:-(

---

I think my Dad forgot I had class at 10 and drove my Savannah all the way to Byfield for school.

:-(

Let me get everyone up to date:

•I haven't quit Blockbuster. I've decided to stick with the job because it's the smart thing to do, and the whole experience has taken a 180° in terms of enjoyment. Tonight Amanda and I ran around the store using a balloon as a hacky sack. I wore a Santa hat ghetto-styled and popped my collar. It was Saint Nick vs. The Amandanator.

•Yesterday was production night for the school newspaper (The Observer). It was a blast to work on and I love everyone I work with (minus Robin, because she quit last night in the middle of production). I'm getting a kick out of my section, The Alternative Edge. I cover everything from comic books to porn, basically. That's the inside joke for my section, because so far it's been comic books and...porn. Still, I hope the student populace really takes a shine to my articles, because I'm putting my best effort into these things. Plus, I call Dan, "JJJ" (after Spider-Man's J. Jonah Jameson (EiC of the Daily Bugle)), and Dan calls me, "Pete."

•Snap Brannigan is becoming a household phrase. Just remember where you got it.

•My girlfriend (Amber) is awesome. Case closed. Period. De nada. It's all good. I love her. She rules. She makes the best hot cocoa, I swear it.

•Tomorrow is Wednesday. COMIC BOOKS! DETECTIVE COMICS! ANNIHILATION: CONQUEST! UNCANNY X-MEN! YEAH!

•No, seriously. My girlfriend rules. I'm in a better place right now, considering the circumstances in my life, because of her. And I'm glad I'm the only one who gets to experience the beauty of waking up next to her in the morning.

Since Monday, I've been suffering from some kind of food poisoning, stomach bug, cold, or whatever. I've been shitting my brains out, and last night I almost went to the emergency room, because I was afraid that I lost too many vital fluids and I looked like a skeleton.

Many reassurances, toastie crackers, and bottled water later. I wake up this morning, ready for a doctor's appointment and....NOTHING! My butt felt fine. I was weak, cold, and hungry as hell. But the only gurgles were my body asking for food. Real food. Food that won't get turned into a bad tsunami. I ended up going to the bathroom, afraid that it was still running through my system as a black ops mission, but what came out was  CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED.

And, yeah. I feel fine now. I know I was freaking out and thinking I was going to die last night, but I really did look like Cillian Murphy on a bad day (no offense, Cillian, you're a great actor!).

But not all has been bad.

Yesterday I found out that comic books weren't coming out today, but I had no way to get to the store. So I called Stephen, who was at work until 5:30, if he could drive by and pick them up and drop them off and I can pay him back when he got to my house (or when he drove me to the bank). He said that was okay, and made it to the store before it closed at 6:00 (Stephen works at Fox Run, so he wasn't that far away). He called when he got the books, but also told me that Chris (the owner of Chris' Comics) wanted to ask me a question, and gave me a business card for the store to contact him at. I called him right away, with my mind screaming, "JOB!" He said he was busy though, and would call me tomorrow.

I really hope it's a job offer. It would be so cool to work in a comic book store.

My friend Ashleigh from Journalism also told me she'd introduce me to Chris Golden, who has collaborated with Mike Mignola on several projects, including Hellboy. She's good friends with the family. She said it could help me get an inside into the industry! Heck, yeah!

---

My Mom is still in the hospital, but doing okay. I'm actually going to cut this entry short so I can call her and see how she's doing.

Yesterday was not a good day.

I woke up, gearing up for my first date with Amber. It was going to rule.

I felt kind of sickly though, but I was determined to make it through the day. We got to the mall to get Amber's laptop fix and I had to keep running to the bathroom, because I had to...uh...yeah, anyway.

We decided to cancel the date because I was pale as a ghost and according to Amber, looked like I was in the Mortal Kombat video game and needed finishing.

We tried to reassure her parents that I wasn't sick. I took a nap. Ate supper. Went upstairs. Amber took a shower. Amber returns. Amber checks my temperature and I have 102.4.

Yeah.

We dose me up with some medication. I wake up every hour to go the bathroom. My temperature goes down. I wake up in the morning and still feel like crap. Amber and I miss the first day of classes. Amber brings me home. I fall asleep.

Oh and my Mom is in the hospital again and things don't look good.

Yeah.

I wake up a couple times to go to the bathroom. I take some more meds. Drink a lot of water.

Oh and Heath Ledger (Brokeback Mountain/The Dark Knight) committed suicide.

Yeah.

So. I'm gonna go to the bathroom again and see if my Dad's home from the hospital.

Hey, folks! What's shakin'?

Nick here, back from his vacation in North Carolina and I thought I'd give you some updates into my life--in style!

So, Nick. How was the vacation?

It was something I needed, that's for sure. Plus, the weather is a helluva lot better than it is up here.

Give us an idea of what you did down there?

Horses. Haley loves horses, LJ. I've got decent stamina, but for some reason I could barely keep myself up while wiggling horse figurines around on a small table. It's as if little kids have energy sucking abilities. Little, adorable vampires!

That's pretty cute, Nick. Any other adventures?

We visited a couple of museums. One was a children's museum called Marbles. It was a lot of fun (for Haley), and reminded me of the Boston Children's Museum I'd go to as a kid. Makes me wish I was five feet shorter, because that place was always buckets of fun.

Buckets?

Buckets.

Well, that's pretty cool. So it was relaxing?

Yeah, I think that even when I try to find peace up here, it's still hard because no matter where I seemed to go, everything followed. Nothing could get me down there unless I let it in, and that's something I did a pretty good job of defending against. I love my life up here, but this place is filled with so many memories. Maybe too many. I needed this escape. This reprieve and I think returning I'm all the better. Plus, there is nothing more rewarding than seeing someone so small, but filled with so much love. Especially when that love is directed at you.

Best. Uncle. Ever. Huh?

I'd like to think so. I want to give Haley the reassurance that she has people on either side of the family that she can confide in as she grows up. I'm sure Aprille's family is great, though I've only really met them once, but Eric has family too and Haley needs to know that. It's not like Eric has any bad blood up here, but it's really hard to have an orchestrated effort for the whole family to get together or really care. It's not like every day has to be a party, but sometimes it just seems like my family wants nothing to do with each other and that upsets me.

That is pretty sad, but hopefully everything works out, eh? So let's look forward. Anything coming up that should be noted?

SPRING SEMESTER! Yeah, it's already been a month of action, mayhem, and mystery for those who had a full month off for break. Either that or they were too crunked to notice the time fly. I know a lot of people aren't excited to go back to school (Amber being one), but I'm kind of excited. I think I'm going to fare better at my academics this time around than last semester. I want to be active and enjoy what I'm doing (which should have been the case last semester).  Before all this though, I've got the midnight showing of Cloverfield Thursday night. It looks like the current group is Amber, Stephen, Renee, Maddy, Andrew, and me. I think it'll be a lot of fun. Hell, this movie has invested so much time in being vague and cryptic that it better deliver! (laughs) Oh, and I have to take Amber on a date. This is a definite before I get harpooned. No joke, I bet she's got one under her bed right now.

Hah, well here's to a good semester, yah?

Here's to hoping! In all seriousness, the only complication is the health of my Mom. She just got a feeding tube put in because the doctor's can't operate on the tumor in her throat without deadly consequences. I'm just worried and hoping for the best. My Mom is an amazing person, shortcomings or not. Those don't even matter anymore, because she's the kind of person that deserves to live and it sickens me when I see other, lesser souls out there getting greedy with this long life they've been given and my Mom deserved more. Even raising eight kids, it seems like my Mom has seen and done everything you'd want to do on Earth. I love her and I've got my fingers crossed.

I've got mine crossed too, Nick. Thanks for your time and we hope to hear from you soon.

Anytime, Livejournal. Anytime.

I'm going to say that I definitely needed this vacation.

I needed it.

I've felt relaxed, cheerful, and open-minded. Sometimes when you take a vacation you're still stuck in the environment you're trying to vacation from. That's why I love coming down to visit Eric in North Carolina. It's a pretty good state. It still has room for development. Good weather. Fairly nice people, the works. I'm still pretty set on Vermont for my future headquarters, though.

I'd like to live in New York City for a few months. Probably if it involves interning at Marvel Comics. As a writer, specifically comic books, knowing NYC inside and out is a good thing to have under your belt.

I'd like to live in California for a few months as well. Maybe a for a semester of college to learn about film and screenwriting.

But ultimately. I want peace. I want to end up in Vermont or something like it. I want to be active. I want to be involved in the rest of the world. I still want to go to Africa. I'd still go on adventures around the country. Adventures are built into me. Whether it's for my stories or in real life.

Anyway. I'm having a blast here. I hope this freedom I have inside me will continue when I get home. I want to make a better impression within myself.

Wooza?

Chuck will return for an additional two episodes that will cap off the first season until the end of the writer's strike. It's been picked up for a full season run, but can't be completed until the writers are done getting their thang on.

For additional information go here:

http://www.zap2it.com/tv/news/zap-finalchuckepisodesairdate,0,3378472.story?coll=zap-tv-headlines

Heck. Frakkin'. Yes!

Sup, hombres?

I thought I'd let you all get in on the action. I'm alive and very much so.

Well, kinda. I feel groggy and my sore throat is a biatch in it's own self. I was worried that I'd infect the household with my ebola, but it turns out Haley was already coming out of a sickness, so if I cause any damage, it'll probably be minimal OR no one will know it was me (granted, this cough sounds like I have two hundred year old honey stuck in my throat. Picture that!).

Still, I'm glad to be down here and with family. The last time I saw Haley was over the summer and she's already like fifty feet bigger! She's talking a lot, as well. We played with horses (with karate chop action!) for a bit, until Haley had to lay down for a nap. I ended up going upstairs to read (while Eric went to a quick meeting and Aprille laid down as well), and ended up dozing off until I was woken up by the flickering of lights!

"God, zat chuu?" I said, unsure of why he was bothering me.
"Time to get up, Nick." Eric called from the door.
"Oh. You. This makes...I was asleep!? Whooooa!"
"Everyone got a nap, it looks like." Eric comforted the thought that I wasn't alone.
"I just want to let you know that I hope you don't flicker the lights with your kids, because they'll probably have seizures." Eric laughed and went back downstairs.

After I climbed out of the most comfortable bed I've been in since last year (ironically it was the same bed), I made my way downstairs where we decided that we were going to eat out at a Mexican restaurant . Haley danced to the guitar players, I ate my second batch of quesadillas for the day (Eric and I stopped at Taco Bell after I got off the plane).

Then we got ice-cream and I played more horses (with triple kick action now!) with Haley in the car (and subsequently at home). We watched a segment on manta rays on Discovery Channel (note to self: watch more discovery channel when I get home), I dabbled with my Peter David's How to Write Comics book, then played more horses, then Haley lead me upstairs and eventually found herself in bed and I was in my room again, just laying there. Suddenly. I was gone.

I woke up and the room was dark, though I remember the light being on before I fell unconscious. My mind had been bombarded by several strange dreams (the whole sleeping experience was strange, but I remember having a similar experience last year), none of which I remember.

I was afraid everyone was asleep, because I wanted to call Amber. I saw a light on in Eric's room and Aprille came out and told me it was okay to go downstairs (I didn't know if the alarm was set).

And now here I am. Eric and I are sitting with individual laptops and watching The Core (with Aaron Eckhart. Yesss!).

I'll be going to bed soon, but once again. I'm alive. I'm kind of well, and I think it'll be a very relaxing vacation for me.

I'll try to keep you guys updated.

My Mom is in the hospital.

The tumor in her throat is blocking her ability to swallow food or liquids.

She's okay. Resting. The doctors are working on a solution.

Home isn't the place you leave from. It's the place you go back to.

And I'm home. It took some realization. Some drama and a little struggle. I needed the experience I've had over the last month and a half. It was important that I took part in it. I'm glad I did.

But I'm home, and it's kind of cool. Kind of cold as well, because I forgot that there isn't much heating around the downstairs. It's funny being in my room. Sitting here like old times. Relaxing. I don't have to sit around a bunch of people. I can keep to myself. I needed this isolation. It's liberating.

My Mom and I are awesome. A couple times already I've just sat on her bed and we've talked and talked. Good stuff. Sometimes funny stuff. I like that kind of relationship. I hope it continues and we don't devolve back into World War House.

My relationship with Amber only keeps getting better. Though I'm not allowed to be a four year old anymore. I'm pushing for the five year old option, but I don't know if she'll go for it. My Mom and my Dad like her a lot. And she absolutely loves my Dad. My Dad came into my room to say goodnight last night before Amber left and as he leaves he starts scratching his back on my door and says, "It's cheaper than a back scratcher" or something to that effect and walks out, Amber looks at me and mouths, "Your Dad is freakin' AWEsome!"

Yeah. Great family.

Anyway, I need to shower and get ready for work. Duty calls!!

Christmas is next week. That's kind of crazy to me, because I feel like I'm still getting over Thanksgiving. I haven't bought a single present (besides a belated birthday present for Savannah), and I have very little money. I have a Christmas party at Middle Street on Sunday for all the tenants and their significant others (I technically still count as one till my stuff is gone). Then I think I'm working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but obviously whatever time I'm not at work, I'll be spending it with my family. Amber is also spending Christmas Eve with my family, which I think will be awesome because I want her to get to know them and vice versa.

I'm not expecting a lot this Christmas, and I don't want to. I don't really know what I want that I can't get for myself if I wanted it. It feels nice to get something, but I just like being with someone, whether it's my family, friends, or Amber. If I get something, great, but I don't want people to stress themselves out over it.

School is almost done. I'm basically done. I just have to pass in my portfolio tomorrow for Fiction Writing, then talk about my paper in Abnormal Psych on Thursday. Good stuff.

I wish I had done better this semester, but I just wasn't feeling it. The funny thing is I wasn't alone, as I heard the sentiments shared by a lot of people. Things will be a lot calmer next semester being back home, a loving and supportive relationship, and my friends that stay in the area during college.

I'm also looking forward to winter break. Less stress, more time with the people I care about, and obviously going down to North Carolina to see Eric and Haley. I'm SO looking forward to that you have no idea.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm waiting for Amber to get home from work (I'm at her house), and her Dad wants me to watch a movie with him.

Adios.

Tonight I have work from 5:00 to 11:00 and then Amber is picking me up and taking me to her house. I spend more time over her house than anywhere else. Tomorrow, when Amber and I wake up, we’re going over my house, possibly Maddy helping out as well, and cleaning and reorganizing my room so that when I drag all my stuff from middle street back there, it won’t just be a heap. If I can get all that done tomorrow and have all my stuff moved back in, this would be wonderful. I’m tired. I barely eat here. I don’t want to eat this food. I don’t accept Kelly’s offers of meals because I don’t want to feel responsible for stuff she needs to do.
    
    She made chicken this morning. CHICKEN! THIS MORNING! For breakfast, they had chicken. I’m in the kitchen cleaning out a cup so i can get a drink, and Kelly comes in to make chicken and I’m like, “you’re gonna have to clean some dishes to make it,” and she’s like, “Yeah.” Then she notices a clean pan in the open dish washer and goes, “Oh! A clean pan!” Grabs it. Puts the chicken on it. Cooks it. Eventually eats it. Before I leave to go see Golden Compass with my sister, I notice the pan is still on the stove covered in chicken shit. I leave for two hours and come back here and they were done eating a long time ago, and the pan of chicken shit is exactly where I had walked away from it.
   
    Disgusting. Absolutely fucking disgusting. Now, you might ask why don’t I just deal with it? I could. I could be the better person and clean up everyone’s messes, but then they wouldn’t learn anything. They’d keep doing what they’re doing. Waiting for the dishes to pile up so I can become frustrated and wash them all over again. No one learns. I’m so glad I’m leaving. But I’m so tortured because Stephen will be alone and he’ll have to suffer through this. He didn’t deserve any of this. He was nice enough to let people stay here and now people just shit all over him. I’m leaving because I don’t want to be that kind of person. I love Stephen. He’s my best friend. He gave me a chance to stay here, and if I can’t pay that back to him, then I leave. I learned from that. I spent years of having Harriet or my Dad do my dishes. There was a point where I did dishes, but for the most part, if I left things in the sink, they’d magically disappear. I get here, and I automatically learn that I have to deal with my own things. I rinse my dishes and put them in the dish washer.
   
    MY GOD!? WE HAVE A DISH WASHER!? A MACHINE THAT WASHES DISHES FOR US!? WHO PUT THAT THERE!? WHEN DID THAT GET THERE!? THAT HAS TO BE NEW! STEPHEN YOU DOG, WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US!? ALL THIS TIME WE’VE JUST BEEN LEAVING OUR DISHES IN THE SINK BECAUSE WE DIDN’T THINK IT WAS HUMANELY POSSIBLE FOR US TO WASH THEM OURSELVES! BUT THIS! THIS MARVELOUS CREATION! MY GOODNESS!
   
    I want out of here so bad. So freakin’ bad. I wish in this instant, I could grab all my stuff and run. I understand why I put myself in this situation, and I don’t regret doing this. But I learned. I learned from my mistakes. From my past. I learned where my anger can drive me. It drove me here. And now it’s driving me back home where I belong. My renewed start. A familiar place for a fresh beginning. Wonderful. I seriously cannot wait.

    I come home last night. Stephen warns me that people are smashed again. People are down in the basement doing whatever it is drunk people do in basements. People are playing Halo. Halo. Always Halo. I really hate that game now. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to play it again. Probably, but right now. It just makes me angry.

    It’s midnight and people are going, “fuck yeah,” or, “sonnuvabitch!” or “What the fuck?”, etc. etc. MIDNIGHT! Didn’t Steve, our neighbor politely ask us that after 11 o’clock if we could be quiet. He’s a fucking flight attendant. He needs his sleep. He wakes up early and I wonder if he gets any sleep at all with people hooping and hollering right next door to him. And haha, when it turns 1 o’clock, a new person comes over! By 2 o’clock I go into my room and fall asleep. I don’t know how long they were here, but. I dunno. I just didn’t care anymore. I didn’t want to argue. There’s no point in saying, “NO MORE ALCOHOL!” if no one is going to listen. I just don’t care. I’ll be out of here within the week, hopefully sooner. Then it won’t be my problem. It’ll be Stephen’s, and that’s what saddens me most. That he’ll be stuck with this. Until next summer. I’m hoping Renee’s return is glorious. Stephen needs something to make him happy. He needs an escape. I called him earlier asking for a ride to work at 5, and he was in the middle of opening presents with his family. I hate that I interrupted that and that while he’s having christmas with his family, I’m asking him to do something for me.

    I’m clicking my heels. There’s no place like home. I realize that now. It’s a good place when you make it that way.

    My brother Glenn is going down to Missouri for two months to help out with the blackout problems they’ve been having since the, uh, ice storms? That’s great of him. I have a lot of respect for him to do that.

    I can’t wait for this work shift to be over. It’ll be with Val, so that’s good. If it’s as dead as yesterday (though if there’s a snow storm tonight, I think we’ll be busy) then I will feel good. I just want it to be over so I can spend time with Amber. It sounds dumb, but it’s hard being away from her, especially when I have to be away from her and in this mess. During my period of not being in a relationship, I told myself that I wouldn’t become clingy or desperate, or pathetic, or whiney, or anything like that that I suffered in my other relationships. I didn’t want to be that guy anymore. I’m not that guy with Amber. We share a great connection. A wonderful connection. We don’t cling to each other. We support each other. We’re not desperate. We’re in love. We’re not pathetic. We’re content with each other. We don’t whine about our relationship. There’s nothing to whine about. It’s perfect, it really is. I don’t think I’ve ever really felt like this, but I’m glad I’ve gotten the chance to do so.

After this week, school will be over. I’ll be back at home. Life won’t be as hectic. Christmas is coming up. I need to shop. I wish I had money. I get paid this week, so that’s good, but it’s right before christmas so everything will be gone. Bah.

Anyway, that’s enough rant for now.

EDIT: I'm not sure, but I think I hear Kelly cleaning the kitchen. I'll go investigate. I hope I'm right.

My house is a mess. I'm gone for a couple of nights and it's trashed. Pizza boxes everywhere. Ugh.

I don't get it. CLEAN THE FUCK UP! I don't even sleep here anymore unless I have to. It's just not working for me.

I kind of want to go back into isolation. Being with my family was easy enough because I spent most of my time in my room and wasn't all that disturbed.

At the same time, it's like everyone here went from being best friends to just actual roommates. Everyone keeps to themselves, or tries to. Most of the time, the only person I want to deal with is Stephen because he doesn't bother me at all.

I dunno. I enjoy going over Amber's house. I like being around her family and obviously Amber. It's basically my escape place. I've been there the last couple of nights, or three. I don't remember, but I like being there. Amber and I get along so well, that when we fight, it's usually over what kind of pancakes we want.

"What do you want?"
"I dunno."
"Can't you decide?"
"I don't get why I have to make all the decisions."
"Nick, you never make any decisions."
"That's a big decision!"
"Sheesh."
"It's not like you ever make decisions either, Amber."
"That's why we never get anywhere."
"If we move in together, I sense takeout every night."
"We're not having takeout every night."
"Haha! A decision has been made!"
"My god. Nick, you're such a five year old."
"I prefer six."
*Amber slaps her forehead*
"Blueberry or apple pancakes?"
"I don't know!"
"Argh!"
"ARGH!"
*pretend to punch and tackle*

That's basically how it goes every time we have to decide on something. I think it's hilarious.

Anyway, but yeah. I'm hopefully gonna move out right after Christmas. It's not fair to Stephen to spend all this money, and I'm just not feeling the vibe anymore.

I'm hoping next summer I have a better job, steadier income, and a smaller, nice apartment with Amber.

But yeah. I've gotta get ready for work.

POW!

BLAM!

SHAZAM!

It's that time again, folks. Another heart-warming, gut-wrenching, all around great entry from that lovable, that sweet, that fantabulous young man named. . .NICK!

That's right, he's back in action with another solid entry of fun, romance, and excitement!

Can I get a woo?

Woohoo!

So what's happened since we last checked in with Nick? Well, why don't we just go to the man himself. Hey Nick!

Nick: Hey, Livejournal. What's up?

LJ: Not too much my friend, just wondering how you're doing?

Nick: Ah, well, y'know. I guess I can't really complain. Or I could. It's a matter of perspective, really.

LJ: Perspective, eh? Want to shed some light on that?

Nick: Sure, I suppose. I'm back on my medication, which is a funny experience. I'm back to being incredibly tired. My girlfriend is leaving for the weekend (which isn't that long when you think about it) and all I did when I saw her this morning was snore on the couch in Jitters. Not what I'd call a great send-off. Of course, when I found out she didn't have to go to work, I tried a myriad of things to convince her to come over. But it looks like nothing short of me losing my arms would get her over here, and even that's a stretch! (Laughs)

LJ: Guess you're pretty stoked with butterflies.

Nick: Sure thing, Livejournal. I couldn't ask for a better companion. In the broadest sense, she's everything I've ever wanted and everything I've ever missed. That's a pretty big package.

LJ: Bet it doesn't compare to yours! (Laughs)

Nick: Oh you.

LJ: So besides being a puppy in love, what else is floating around your boat?

Nick: Hopefully nothing deadly! (Laughs) Though, in all seriousness, I think things are looking up. Once I get control of my budget and actually earn more than I'm spending (and cut down on that too), I'll be a better place fiancially. But socially, I've got a really great circle of friends around me right now. Of course, I wish the alcohol situation would vanish. I thought we had that settled, but it still seems to be an issue.

LJ: Oh?

Nick: I just don't like being around it. I don't really care that people drink, but it's not my cup of tea (spiked, obviously). And I thought ground rules had been set that it would stay in Erin's room. I guess I should have emphasized that the only people allowed to drink in the house are the people who live here, but I don't think I got that carried across in the original conversation.

LJ: That can happen, anything else you want to mention?

Nick: Well, my Mom made me another offer to come home. I denied once again, but y'know, I really think that my relationship with my Mom is getting even better. We haven't argued at all, really. When I see her it's a lot of fun. Like the other night when we were taking apart the exercise set. We were all having fun. It was great.

LJ: Awesome. So to close out, what's your final message?

Nick: Obviously the most important thing is my Mother mentioned to me that they're stopping chemo treatments on her. They realize it's apparently not doing a whole lot of good, so they're taking her away from chemo and giving her some kind of enzyme pill. Hopefully that works out for the best. I wish someone would get crackin' on whoever this guy is that made a "cure for cancer" in his house (or whatever).

LJ: Yeah guys, pick up the pace!

Nick: Chi, yeah. Well, that's it for me for the night. I'll be back soon for another glorious update in the mild mannered lifestyle of. . .myself!

LJ: You heard the man. Thanks for tuning in folks and have a great night. We'll see you soon.


Beep beep be doop da dooo.